Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Do I have a rage problem?

My dad and I were moving furniture around this afternoon. My dad has back problems and he gets angry easily. So, like I always do, I stood aside while my dad yelled and tried fixing everything. Even when I had an idea, I didn't speak my mind because I was too afraid to speak at all.

Now let's change the picture. My little niece Desiree is living with me and my parents. It gets very irritating sometimes trying to deal with her. She often times makes me and my mother want to blow a gasket. Sometimes I have to gnash my teeth just to keep from blowing up.

Compared to my brother, I'm considered cool-headed. But sometimes people don't see the real me. I get angry, a lot. But I try to hide it. I try to keep myself under control. And I think trying to keep myself under control is slowly killing myself. On some days, I wish I could go into my bedroom, slam the door, and yell into my pillow. Other days I wish I could just get away from the world.

But no matter what I feel, this is my world, and I love it just the way it is, with rage and all.

Until later,


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